This line
this word
turned and wrought emotion
wrestle free
my thoughts
I know not but
it is all of me
if only a piece
a part of
some time
once was now
not honed
just so and
now
yes now
make permanent
with form just so
structure sewn
that you
yes you
may grasp at an
I
that may be
you
we can
shall
will
see each other’s I
separately
lined
worded
turned and wrought
as thus
this line
this word
made
We
6 comments:
I quite enjoyed the architecture of this piece. It evokes a real connection to this lost string of notion.
"You you may grasp at an I" - beautiful!
~ Rose
Dig the fragmentary nature of your minimalist lines and how they form a composite with some well placed rhyme.
dude great word play, the structure plays well to this and ...
you
may grasp at an
I
that may be
you
my fav line...
I read it backwards, as in:
"We
made
this word
this line
as thus..."
and the poem takes on a whole new meaning. Don't know if it's intentional, but what the heck... :D
With simple words you made such a sophisticated ideal of raw emotion.
I love the feeling of writing a piece like this, so it makes me find pockets of meaning in its lovely curse...
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