Down

things of late have made me feel down. so to turn myself around, i decided to look into my feelings of yesterday. what better way to do this than to reread some poems i wrote many moons ago. i am note sure that they helped yet spread some light on my every lingering dysthymia (here i must say that i have never been diagnosed with the condition or that i am NOT making light of it. important as it is to use flowery and descriptive words, it should never be at the expense the people who suffer form certain diseases).

poems are great!!! many subtle nuances of the human psyche can be expressed with great efficiency through expressive poetry. indeed, one may not know it but a catharsis can be achieved through the process writing poetry. this is my aim, at least, an endeavor towards the purest expression of inner feelings and thoughts culminating in a moment of the greatest understanding. rather lofty no????

anyways, here is a poem that i wrote back in 1991. it shows something of the moment in saddened terms.

I know not what I do
For I am an unenthusiastic soul
Reaching for the sun
Blind to its overpowering presence
And unyielding strength

Fantasies swell inside me
Giving me purpose and pleasure
Allowing me to escape
The everyday pains of reality
And its unearthly realism

Emotions run amok sensing release
From that which is caged and bottled up
Knowing that only short lived
All must be experienced and life
Must take root

Mirrored by an unforgiving reflection
The past lashes out
And allows pity and self-dought
To overwhelm my hopes shattered
My dreams torn apart I look to the future
With tear swollen eyes